Monday, September 15, 2008

Squirrels Make Me Nuts!!!

Squirrels. God how I hate them. They've been destroying my lawn ever since I started owning one. Every day. All day long. They're out there digging. They dig and they dig and they dig until the green is almost gone.

How many times have I seeded and reseeded that divot-laced lawn? How many times have I run to the door and yelled, "You ratty brats! Bratty rats!"? And how many times has my son Coop imitated me—to the ire of my wife? Just the mention of the word "squirrel" sends him into a tizzy. My mini-doppleganger throws his hand into the air and screams in his cute little high voice, "Aii yaii yaii!!!" [Translation: Get off my Daddy's lawn!!!]

I love it.

Lyn hates it. She doesn't want him to be an odd child.

She should have thought of that before procreating with the likes of me.


Anonymous said...

why aren't you sleeping at 1 in the morning?

are you sure the rodents are part of local 126 of the international brothers of acorn finding?

IBOAF local 126

Frannie said...

I love the squirrel waving. Holla!

Also, your last line took the words right out of my mouth.