Friday, October 31, 2008

Happy Halloween 5

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Happy Halloween 4

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Happy Halloween 3

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Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Happy Halloween 2

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Monday, October 27, 2008

Happy Halloween 1

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Sunday, October 26, 2008

Orange you from Long Island?

In the spirit (woooo oooooo) of Halloween, I'd like to tell you about something scary.

There's something creepy happening on Long Island. It's been going on for years, but lately ... well, it's increased exponentially. Ladies young and old, short and tall, big and small are all turning ... ORANGE.

When did it begin, this invasion of the body colorers? And how did it happen?

Is there something in the water?
Was there a freak accident at the local carrot juice factory?
Has an alien race of fornicating oranges landed and secretly interbred with our humans?

No, the pigmented problem is much simpler I believe—yet equally sinister. The answer is: too much sun. Too much bronzer. Too much makeup. And too much time in the tanning booth.

Apparently these orange ladies of Long Island believe this excess of color makes them look prettier, sexier and healthier. If you ask me, it just makes them look orangier. But I'll let you be the judge



There's a little saying I'd like to reiterate to all those ladies out there: Less Is More.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

You know what would be great?

More Jimbociles. I know you're out there. Why not let others know? Become a Jimbocile today and click Follow This Blog on the side column.

Most importantly, it makes me feel good and lets me know that my efforts are not wasted.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Times are tight 5

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Thursday, October 23, 2008

Times are tight 4

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Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Times are tight 3

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Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Times are tight 2

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Monday, October 20, 2008

Times are tight 1

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Sunday, October 19, 2008

Hungry Man Jimmer

Seriously, I think I have a tapeworm. I canNOT stop eating lately. If fact, if I had a tapeworm—and could remove it—I'd probably just try and eat it again.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Coworkin' 5

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Thursday, October 16, 2008

Coworkin' 4

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scribble scribble scribble scribble

scribble scribble

erase erase

scribble scribble

erase scribble erase

scribble scribble scribble scribble

erase

long pause

scribble scribble scribble.




25 Minutes Later:


Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Visions of a jIMPERFECT future

How can I become a full-time comic strip writer? According to Dilbert creator Scott Adams, he sent in fifty strips to the newspaper syndicates and was eventually given a contract. Now, I am more than aware that jIMPERFECT, in its present R-rated form, would never get picked up for national syndication. And I have no intention of changing the strip without a monetary offer to do so. But if I want to avoid this Catch-22, I have to make a change. So what I am going to do is offer up "clean" fixes for each strip placed below the originals (not drawn out, just written) to show that jIMPERFECT can be just as funny as it is "wholesome." I still prefer my warped, line-crossing versions—and I suspect many of you may feel the same way.

I am also planning on going back and cleaning up the older drawings when I get my new version of photoshop—and replacing my hand-written cartoon bubbles and text with professional looking ones (as some of them already have).

It's not easy trying to write/draw a daily strip. You have to think them out in advance, refine them, draw them, scan them, clean them up, convert them to GIFs and then upload them to the blog. It is all very time-consuming—something I don't have much of thanks to a full-time job and family. But I'm going to continue. I hope you will all keep tagging along. I'm really enjoying it. And your comments and quips add to that enjoyment.

Coworkin' 3

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"Wholesome" fix: Obviously replace "Dammit" with "Darn it."

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Coworkin' 2

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"Wholesome" fix: While there is nothing really objectionable about this one, the syndicates might be wary of the strength of the word "hate" in the last panel. I would therefore, remove Jim's comment altogether.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Coworkin'

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"Wholesome" fix: Obviously ditch "dick" in the last bubble. If possible, I'd use "jackass" which sets up Thursday and Friday's installments.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Manscaping: The Aftermath

Note to self: clip guards are always recommended.




"Wholesome" fix: I have to admit that I'd most likely have to ditch the entire manscaping installment. This one may be too disturbing for a daily newspaper—you know, as compared to all those wholesome news stories about grisly murders, rapes, baby-torturing and blurred Britney Spears crotch-shots. But if I could keep this Sunday one, I'd—OH WHO AM I KIDDING? The hair! The blood! It would never make it. I'd replace it with Jim dancing as a member of a boy band.

Okay, maybe—just maybe—I'd reverse the view. Jim (wearing a towel) and Lyn are outside the bathroom looking in through the door that is floor to ceiling hair. Like a closet of curls.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Manscaping: Part 5

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"Wholesome" fix: Hmmmmm. Tough one. In the second panel, cover Jim up—again. Then have him say "I thought you'd like it. It's all the rage!" instead of "All the porn stars are doing it." Lyn would then say, "All the rage?!? With who?" instead of her anal bleaching bubble. The third panel's bubble would be replaced with Jim saying, "You know ... boy ... bands...?" The UPS guy's box would then say, LOU PEARLMAN'S BACKSTREET BOY BAND MAKEOVER KIT. He'd also be singing "I Want It That Way" by the Backstreet Boys.

I could then replace Sunday's Manscape Aftermath with a pic I drew of Jim in a boy band.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Manscaping: Part 4

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"Wholesome" fix: Again, put a towel on Jim. And perhaps put Lyn more left of center so it doesn't appear that something else is going on.