Sunday, October 26, 2008

Orange you from Long Island?

In the spirit (woooo oooooo) of Halloween, I'd like to tell you about something scary.

There's something creepy happening on Long Island. It's been going on for years, but lately ... well, it's increased exponentially. Ladies young and old, short and tall, big and small are all turning ... ORANGE.

When did it begin, this invasion of the body colorers? And how did it happen?

Is there something in the water?
Was there a freak accident at the local carrot juice factory?
Has an alien race of fornicating oranges landed and secretly interbred with our humans?

No, the pigmented problem is much simpler I believe—yet equally sinister. The answer is: too much sun. Too much bronzer. Too much makeup. And too much time in the tanning booth.

Apparently these orange ladies of Long Island believe this excess of color makes them look prettier, sexier and healthier. If you ask me, it just makes them look orangier. But I'll let you be the judge



There's a little saying I'd like to reiterate to all those ladies out there: Less Is More.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

jimbo, be nice to all the fine looking girls in the 516. you have to admit there are some hotties. orange you glad?

JIMBO said...

True dat.

I just wish they'd" lighten up."

Sen. John said...

Who's orange?

Anonymous said...

the chick in the yellow dress looks like my aunt hildie. who lives in bethpage, by the way.

JIMBO said...

Tell Hildie I said hello.