In the spirit (woooo oooooo) of Halloween, I'd like to tell you about something scary.
There's something creepy happening on Long Island. It's been going on for years, but lately ... well, it's increased exponentially. Ladies young and old, short and tall, big and small are all turning ... ORANGE.
When did it begin, this invasion of the body colorers? And how did it happen?
Is there something in the water?
Was there a freak accident at the local carrot juice factory?
Has an alien race of fornicating oranges landed and secretly interbred with our humans?
No, the pigmented problem is much simpler I believe—yet equally sinister. The answer is: too much sun. Too much bronzer. Too much makeup. And too much time in the tanning booth.
Apparently these orange ladies of Long Island believe this excess of color makes them look prettier, sexier and healthier. If you ask me, it just makes them look orangier. But I'll let you be the judge
There's a little saying I'd like to reiterate to all those ladies out there: Less Is More.