Times are tight 5

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Times are tight 4

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Times are tight 3

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Times are tight 2

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Times are tight 1

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Hungry Man Jimmer

Seriously, I think I have a tapeworm. I canNOT stop eating lately. If fact, if I had a tapeworm—and could remove it—I'd probably just try and eat it again.

Coworkin' 5

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Coworkin' 4

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scribble scribble scribble scribble

scribble scribble

erase erase

scribble scribble

erase scribble erase

scribble scribble scribble scribble

erase

long pause

scribble scribble scribble.




25 Minutes Later:

Visions of a jIMPERFECT future

How can I become a full-time comic strip writer? According to Dilbert creator Scott Adams, he sent in fifty strips to the newspaper syndicates and was eventually given a contract. Now, I am more than aware that jIMPERFECT, in its present R-rated form, would never get picked up for national syndication. And I have no intention of changing the strip without a monetary offer to do so. But if I want to avoid this Catch-22, I have to make a change. So what I am going to do is offer up "clean" fixes for each strip placed below the originals (not drawn out, just written) to show that jIMPERFECT can be just as funny as it is "wholesome." I still prefer my warped, line-crossing versions—and I suspect many of you may feel the same way.

I am also planning on going back and cleaning up the older drawings when I get my new version of photoshop—and replacing my hand-written cartoon bubbles and text with professional looking ones (as some of them already have).

It's not easy trying to write/draw a daily strip. You have to think them out in advance, refine them, draw them, scan them, clean them up, convert them to GIFs and then upload them to the blog. It is all very time-consuming—something I don't have much of thanks to a full-time job and family. But I'm going to continue. I hope you will all keep tagging along. I'm really enjoying it. And your comments and quips add to that enjoyment.

Coworkin' 3

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"Wholesome" fix: Obviously replace "Dammit" with "Darn it."

Coworkin' 2

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"Wholesome" fix: While there is nothing really objectionable about this one, the syndicates might be wary of the strength of the word "hate" in the last panel. I would therefore, remove Jim's comment altogether.

Coworkin'

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"Wholesome" fix: Obviously ditch "dick" in the last bubble. If possible, I'd use "jackass" which sets up Thursday and Friday's installments.

Manscaping: The Aftermath

Note to self: clip guards are always recommended.




"Wholesome" fix: I have to admit that I'd most likely have to ditch the entire manscaping installment. This one may be too disturbing for a daily newspaper—you know, as compared to all those wholesome news stories about grisly murders, rapes, baby-torturing and blurred Britney Spears crotch-shots. But if I could keep this Sunday one, I'd—OH WHO AM I KIDDING? The hair! The blood! It would never make it. I'd replace it with Jim dancing as a member of a boy band.

Okay, maybe—just maybe—I'd reverse the view. Jim (wearing a towel) and Lyn are outside the bathroom looking in through the door that is floor to ceiling hair. Like a closet of curls.

Manscaping: Part 5

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"Wholesome" fix: Hmmmmm. Tough one. In the second panel, cover Jim up—again. Then have him say "I thought you'd like it. It's all the rage!" instead of "All the porn stars are doing it." Lyn would then say, "All the rage?!? With who?" instead of her anal bleaching bubble. The third panel's bubble would be replaced with Jim saying, "You know ... boy ... bands...?" The UPS guy's box would then say, LOU PEARLMAN'S BACKSTREET BOY BAND MAKEOVER KIT. He'd also be singing "I Want It That Way" by the Backstreet Boys.

I could then replace Sunday's Manscape Aftermath with a pic I drew of Jim in a boy band.

Manscaping: Part 4

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"Wholesome" fix: Again, put a towel on Jim. And perhaps put Lyn more left of center so it doesn't appear that something else is going on.